


Summertime

by aridrareandas



Series: Giving In [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:19:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aridrareandas/pseuds/aridrareandas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madeleine and Sirius secretly develop feelings for one another. Remus eventually finds out. Things get interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Summertime

**Author's Note:**

> This story is in the same sort of boat as Giving In but everything that happens in this story throws everything else that happens in Giving In out the window :D

                There was an entire month left before they all returned to Hogwarts for their 7th year and the Blacks had been kind enough to inadvertently let Remus, James, Maddie and Peter stay at their home for a few weeks before they all departed. The only problem was that Sirius hadn’t exactly told his parents that they were all coming to stay. Amilye was of course spending her summer in America working as a model, and wouldn’t be back in England until the morning the train left for Hogwarts. Of course the Blacks hadn’t agreed to let anyone stay especially Remus, but Sirius insisted on it and was now paying the repercussions by getting a sound lecture from his father. Mr. Black was hardly ever present in his own home, but made a special exception to stop by before dinner to give his son a verbal lashing.

                "YOU CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OR WHO I SPEND TIME WITH!" Mr. Black had pulled himself away from work to give Sirius this lecture. Of course, the four friends were perched outside the door not far away listening in on the conversation.

                "Sirius, would you calm down?" His father's voice was hostile, but calm, the way that it sounded whenever he and Sirius argued.

                "NO, I WON'T! YOU CAN'T CONTROL MY LIFE! I'LL BE FRIENDS WITH WHOEVER I BLOODY WANT WHILE I'M AT SCHOOL, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN…"

                "Don't you dare!" Mr. Black had slammed his fist down on the table. Things were about to get ugly, and James couldn’t stand not to see this. He opened the door the smallest bit and looked through, Sirius and his father were both giving each other a terrible death stare that was so incredibly common in their family. "Don't you dare say that there is nothing I can do Sirius. Because you know, you know that there are a great many things I am capable of doing." At this point, Mr. Black’s eyes became like two black pools in the burning center of Hell, and a collective chill went up the spines of Sirius’ friends, and then Mr. Black began to speak again, "And you also know that there are a great many ways I can do away with that werewolf mate of yours." Sirius, who had kept his composure up until now, seemed to have deteriorated under his father's words. Mr. Black didn't stop there," I have connections, as you well know, and I could have those connections harm your friend in ways that he could never imagine." The hatred in Sirius' eyes was so intense, it nearly surpassed his father's.

                "If you touch one hair on his head," Sirius growled, "Then I will kill you with my bare hands. No magic." His father paused for a moment, seeming to take in what Sirius had just said, and then, as fast as lightning, a fiery blue flash came out of the end of Mr. Black’s wand, which had just been sitting on his desk. Sirius was blown back against the wall, a loud thud resulting from the impact. Mr. Black waltzed over to Sirius, whispered something inaudibly, and punched Sirius right in the nose, hard. Maybe it was the shock of what she had just seen Sirius’ own father do or if it was the way that he was standing up for Remus, but Maddie caught herself thinking that Sirius looked incredibly handsome. The way the shadows danced across his pained and angered face, the way the blood gushed out of his nose, or just the way he looked overall, he was stunning, and stingingly she thought, that was something Remus would never be. James’ hand on her shoulder rocked Maddie out of her euphoria and they all got up from the crouching position they were in. The conversation had ended and everyone knew that this was the time to get to Sirius’ room upstairs and pretend like they hadn't heard a thing.

                They snuck back to the room as quickly as they could, just hearing the door of the downstairs study as they turned the corner into the next hallway towards the stairs. They filed in one after another and Pete shut the door behind them. James quickly sat in a chair and grabbed a book from the shelf and opened it to a random page pretending that he was heavily involved in reading. Remus and Pete quickly took seats at a table nearby and resumed a game of half played wizards chess which they had started before they heard Sirius and his father screaming. They heard Sirius' footsteps approaching, and Maddie quickly took a seat on the floor at Remus’ feet leaning on his legs. Sirius came plowing through the door and stalked into his bathroom, rummaging around for a bit in the mirror cabinet. They could only see this because of the mirror on the opposite side of the bathroom. After a few minutes of completely destroying the neatness of the bathroom and then fixing it again Sirius came into the room and sat on his bed without a word. The bridge of his nose and both of his eyes were a little purple around the edges and his nose definitely looked broken. Sirius held up a wet wash cloth to his face and collapsed backwards onto his bed with a great sigh. Maddie watched him and couldn‘t help but think that he shouldn‘t be lying down with a broken nose.

                "What happened?" James asked, trying to be as coy as possible. Sirius sighed and kicked up at the air with his flailing legs in a burst of frustration.

                "One of father's talks." He said, pointing to his nose.

                "Oh..." James said under his breath, his eyes glancing back to the book.

                "Don't “Oh” me, James. I know you were listening." James snapped the book shut and spoke in a sarcastic tone.

                "Mistrust? From my best friend?! I am shocked and disgusted that you would challenge my integrity." James smirked and Sirius laughed, running his hand through his hair and sitting up to gaze into the fire. As Maddie watched him, she saw something in Sirius she had not seen before. The broken nose and slightly blackened eyes gave him a distinct look which was somehow enticing. She must have been really zoning out, because Remus gave her a quick shake.

                “What?" Maddie asked, tuning back in.

                “Can you fix Sirius’ nose?" Remus asked.

                “Oh, of course I can.” Maddie nodded intently.

                “Good,” roared James as he leapt out of his chair, “Well, I suppose this means it’s off to my place for the rest of summer?” Sirius glanced at James with a look on his face like that of a little boy who’d done something terribly wrong. He nodded just the slightest bit and collapsed back in bed. James smiled. “Come on then Gents! Let us go down and have Kreacher fix us some supper while Doctor here attends to the patient and I owl my parents. We’ll fix up a plate for you Pads....but if you die I get your sandwiches.” Maddie fidgeted with her shirt and leapt up to her feet.

                “Oh, no wait! I can’t do magic out of…” It was too late, they were already out of the door. Maddie sat down on the bed next to Sirius. A few moments of silence passed between them until Sirius finally spoke.

                "So, what did you hear?" There was a certain sense of panic in his voice, and she knew what it was about. He hadn't wanted her to hear about Remus. It was one thing for Remus to hear it for himself, but another thing entirely for his girlfriend to hear it. Just then, though, Maddie could barely speak to him, his grey blue eyes were glowing with such an intensity.

                "I only heard the part at the end when you were slammed against the wall." His face eased and he looked at her, smiling.

                "Good," He said in a relieved tone, and he lowered his shoulders down from their offensive state. He really believed her? Maddie was so caught off guard by this display of trust that she let out a little laugh and Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. His chest heaved in a small motion that was accentuated only by the firelight, and it was just too much. Maddie quickly moved her hand to his face, to his warm, alabaster skin that made him reminiscent of a living statue. A bit of that pureblood breeding certainly paid off and she ran her fingers through his thick dark hair. There was nothing she could do to stop herself. She had always been intrigued by Sirius but not until these past few weeks had she given it any more thought. The mounting frustration that she received from her fruitless relationship with Remus and his constant woes of being no good for her were really starting to take their toll. These thoughts were running through her head as she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. He put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back, looking down, "Madeleine," he whispered, "Don't..." He blew air out of his nose and bit his upper lip, then looked into her eyes and said, "Let’s get downstairs. Or, you know start packing." With that, he walked out of the room and shut the door, leaving her in a mess of thoughts. 

                Maddie awoke the next morning, not having a very clear idea of what she thought she was going to accomplish the night before. Maddie walked downstairs and into the bright openness that was the Potter household. James’s mum had been so excited when they all arrived, even at such a late hour. Mr. Potter took  Sirius aside and a few quiet words were exchanged that no one really heard, but from that moment on Sirius Black considered this his new home. Being in the Potter’s home was as different from being at the Black’s as night and day. Mrs. Potter had swept Maddie into the attic room which was obviously the room that Mrs. Potter had decorated and kept her spare things in. It was a quaint little room that definitely made you feel welcome. James shared his room with Sirius, and Remus and Peter were fixed up in the living room for the time being.  Everything in this house was welcoming and warm. Maddie meandered her way down the stairs and through the living room and into the kitchen. The bright and beautiful kitchen was full of the glorious smells of breakfast. Mrs. Potter bustled around all the boys and Mr. Potter,  that were sitting around the small round table in the corner. The little breakfast table was near the back door which lead out to the garden and was wide open letting all of the smells of the country morning air in.

                “Madeleine! Good morning! Here, sit here at the table!” Mrs. Potter whooshed her husband out of his seat and Mr. Potter just smiled around his tea cup and retreated to the patio outside. Maddie sat down next to Remus and smiled happily at Mrs. Potter. Sirius had his cup of coffee in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. It was funny, the feeling inside her that she remembered from last night wasn't there when she saw him sitting at the table that morning and she looked at him like she would have any other day as her boyfriend’s best mate. Though, unfortunately, he didn't look at her at all.

                "Morning." Maddie said in attempt to catch his gaze.

                "Morning." He grunted, barely glancing in her direction. Maddie sat down at the table. Mrs. Potter waved her hands around Sirius trying to clear the smoke a bit.

                “Sirius, I wish you wouldn’t smoke in the house.” Sirius went to put out his cigarette in a muffin before James interjected.

                “Dad smokes his pipe all the time Mum!” Mrs. Potter opened her mouth to say something then shrugged instead. She ruffled Sirius’s hair and gave him a quick kiss on the head.

                “I suppose you’re right.”

                “Maddie, why didn’t you fix Pads’ nose?” James mumbled through a mouthful of bacon.

                “Um, because I’m not of age so I can’t do magic out of school.” Maddie shot a glance at Sirius who nodded in return. Remus piled two apple cinnamon scones and a hot cup of coffee in front of Maddie and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. After everyone had finished their breakfast they were planning on heading off to Diagon Alley. Maddie lingered in the kitchen just long enough to get a few words in with Sirius. She whispered quietly in his direction while Mrs. Potter was out on the patio with her husband for a moment.

                "Look, about what happened last night"

                "Don't worry about it."

                "But, Sirius, I-"

                "Don't worry about it." He looked at her now, but not in the way she would have liked him to. He spoke with such a harsh tone that reminded her of Mr. Black. Sirius sometimes looked so much like his father it was scary, and this was one of those times. He stared at her, and in those eyes, she saw so much pain, something she had never experienced. Maddie quickly turned away and headed upstairs to get ready to leave with the others. 

                Maddie had no idea what she was really feeling or what was going on in her head, but when Sirius came home that afternoon from their long day at Diagon there was nothing else she could imagine doing. There was nobody else around. She had come back to the Potter’s early. Everyone else was still out shopping when Sirius bounded up the stairs obviously heading to his room for something he must have forgotten. Maddie walked down the stairs and practically jumped on Sirius, kissing him with such ferocity that could only have been brought on from all the years of pent up tension. Unlike she immediately expected him to do, Sirius did not push her away like he had done before. He grabbed her by the waist as she jumped into his arms and pulled her up the stairs, kissing her with such intensity that only happened when you knew you were doing something wrong. But, at this moment, neither of them could care less. With every stroke of the skin, with every delve of tongues, every last shred of innocence either of them had left was taken away and Maddie really did not care, for there was no one she would rather have had stolen it. It was immoral pleasure that drove them to do what they did that afternoon and as Maddie lay there enjoying every moment of this forbidden indulgence, Sirius was the only thing she cared about in the world. Is this what sex was supposed to be like? Is this the same kind of sex that everyone has? If it was, she couldn't understand why she hadn't tried this before. As she held on grasping onto the wooden frame of James’ bed, which just so happened to be where they had landed, she pushed the fact that the boy above her was her boyfriend’s best friend. Maddie gave in to the pleasure of doing something so inexplicably wrong. Sirius was absolutely nothing like any kind of subtle attention she ever received from Remus. This was intensely more passionate than any of the near sexual experiences she had experienced with Remus. She savored every touch, thrust, kiss, scratch, and bite until it was over.

               

                All the days started to blend into one another as they spent the remainder of their time at the Potter household. The boys often helped Mr. Potter around the house and outside while Maddie spent most of her time with Mrs. Potter in the kitchen cooking the abundance of food needed to feed seven people. Not to mention the stolen moments that Maddie and Sirius shared with one another just when the other least expected it. It was few and far between but when it happened neither of them could stop smiling all day long. It didn’t even have to be something significant. Something as simple as Sirius letting his hand linger a bit too long as he passed the rolls at dinner or Maddie putting her hand on Sirius’ knee as she got up from sitting on the couch, was all it took. After helping in the garden one particularly hot day they all settled back into the kitchen and drank some cold lemonade that Mrs. Potter had set out for them.

                “Please, James can we go to the movies again?? I want to see that movie about the shark!!!” Peter pleaded with James. Remus broke off half of a snicker doodle cookie and handed it to Maddie. James rolled his eyes and then looked deep in thought for a few moments and then shot up from his seat.

                “Ok, lets go.” Peter raised a  pudgy fist in triumph and grabbed a cookie before heading for the door. Maddie wrinkled her nose.

                “Gross! I’m not going into town without taking a shower.” Peter stopped dead in his tracks.

                “We’ll miss it!!!!” Cried the lumpy teen. Maddie laughed and surveyed all the boys who looked as if they would bolt at the door the moment they were sure they could.

                “I’m not going. Plus, I don’t really fancy watching a bunch of Muggles get eaten by a shark.” Remus smiled and gave Maddie a quick kiss on the cheek before racing out of the door with Peter and James behind him. Sirius stopped for a minute before walking towards the door and looked Maddie up and down for a moment. Maddie’s tanned skin from working in the garden was practically glowing and slightly shimmering with sweat. Her pretty face was flushed red and a few of her stray curls were falling out of her haphazardly throw up ponytail.

                “What are you waiting for? You better get going.” Sirius chewed on his bottom lip for a minute.

                “Right…” He backed out the door and headed off in the direction of the other boys.

 

                Finding time to actually enjoy a nice shower when one is sharing a single bathroom in a house full of boys was actually quite difficult. Maddie was definitely thankful that she would have plenty of time alone to enjoy her shower for once. She stripped down to nothing but her baby blue and white striped knickers and began rummaging around the mass of personal hygienic items that were piled all over the bathroom from the lot of them. Maddie found her toothbrush in the medicine cabinet with her toothpaste and set to brushing her teeth. She surveyed the decent sized bathroom and couldn’t help but groan at the state of things. Of course Remus’ things were all in his little travel bag on top of the toilet tank. Pete’s things were taking up residence on the shelf above the toilet that used to be for hand towels before everyone showed up and of course Sirius and James had their things strewn all over the sink and counter top. A bit of toothpaste was smudged on the counter with a toothbrush sitting next to it, a small wad of hair that had been pulled from a brush and didn’t quite make it to the waste bin was on the floor near the toilet, and said brush was actually in the sink getting dripped on by the tap. Maddie shook her head and went for the linen closet and pulled her bag out from behind a mound of towels on the middle shelf. She spit out her toothpaste and rinsed out her brush before putting her tooth care essentials back in the medicine cabinet. She took out her hair brush and brushed her hair while turning on the shower to let the water get hot. Maddie quickly stripped down to nothing and threw her knickers onto the rest of her clothes on top of the closed toilet lid. She hopped in the shower and let the warm water cascaded over her summery tanned body. Maddie reached for her shampoo from the basket hanging from the shower head and squeezed out a little puddle of the viscous liquid into the palm of her hand before working it into her drenched dark hair. Maddie dipped her head back into the rush of water as the suds were rinsed out. Maddie let out a deep sigh as the warm water eased her tired muscles. For a few minutes she stood there simply enjoying the peace and quiet for once and the sound of the rushing water. She opened her eyes when she thought she heard the door click.

                “Hey.”

                “AAAHH!” Maddie screamed, caught off guard as the last bit of shampoo stung her eyes. Maddie took a second to compose herself before peering out from behind the rubber ducky clad shower curtain.

                “Sorry! It’s just me, thought I’d bring you some fresh towels!” Mrs. Potter was halfway in the bathroom and halfway out setting the towels down on the bathroom floor. “Just put them away in the cabinet when you’re done!” Maddie let out a laugh and retreated back into the shower.

                “Thank you Mrs. Potter.”

                “You’re welcome dear!” Mrs. Potter closed the door behind her and laughing to herself, Maddie went back to showering. After going through her whole routine Maddie was almost done scrubbing down and was starting to rinse off when she heard the door open again, followed by a resounding thud.

                “Fuck!” Maddie peeked back out from behind the curtain, but this time she certainly didn’t see Mrs. Potter. Sirius had obviously tripped over the pile of towels that were on the bathroom floor and was scrambling around on the floor for his boot which obviously had come off during the fall, considering he hardly ever tied his laces. When he finally pulled his boot back on he straightened up and fixed his hair before he realized that Maddie was peering at him from behind the curtain.

                “Aren’t you supposed to be watching a movie?”

                “Yep.” Maddie arched an eyebrow. Sirius thought about making a witty comment but knew that wasn’t the way to get to Maddie. The whole act, wouldn’t do any good. He laughed inwardly, with this girl all he had to be was himself. Unbelievable. Sirius simply nodded and took a few steps back. He kicked off his shoes and started to unbutton his pants, keeping his eyes on Maddie the entire time.

                “Then why are you here?” It was Sirius’s turn to arch his eyebrow at Maddie. He finally stripped down to nothing and climbed into the shower. Maddie stood there at a loss for words standing as close to the shower wall as she could so that the basket was digging into her shoulder. Maddie was trying to look anywhere but at Sirius and it certainly wasn’t working. “Listen, Sirius…” Maddie didn’t get another word out though. Sirius got as close to her as he could, standing directly under the stream of water sending it over his face and down his chest. Sirius reached out and snaked an arm around Maddie’s waist and pulled her into the stream of water. He reached up his other hand to her face and caressed her warm wet cheek.

                “Fuck sharks.” This will resound with Maddie for the rest of her life as one of the most romantic moments of her life. Sirius lifted Maddie up and Maddie jumped into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist while kissing him furiously. Their warm wet bodies sliding against each other. This is what teenagers were supposed to do. Maddie collided with the shower wall and with his strength Sirius held her up against the wall and proceeded to make love to her, no matter how much Maddie hated that term, she couldn’t describe it any other way. Every touch, every kiss, every breath resounded with tenderness and the desire to please. Unfortunately, holding up a slippery wet girl in a shower isn’t that easy and every once and awhile Sirius would lose his footing and almost slip eliciting a round of sweet laughter from the both of them. Sirius finally gave up and had put her down and turned her around, as Maddie put her hands on the wall as Sirius propped one arm on the wall next to her own and wrapped his other arm around her chest to caress her breasts as he continued to thrust inside of her . Soon enough the shower water started to get cold so Sirius very skillfully reached behind him and after several tries turned off the faucet with his foot. Not long after the both of them were satisfied Sirius was sitting in the tub with Maddie in his lap facing him and placing flirty little kisses all over his face. Their blissful little moment however was soon interrupted. The bathroom door flew open and footsteps thudded on the floor. James looked around the bathroom and surveyed the two different very distinct piles of clothes, especially the pile of girly clothes on the toilet.

                “Pads?” Sirius covered Maddie’s mouth with his hand.

                “Yeah?”

                “Sorry mate, I didn’t hear the shower on…so I thought the bathroom was empty.”

                “Nope, I was just finishing up.”

                “Right,” said James.

                “Right,” said Sirius. James let out a resigned sigh and leaned against the counter.

                “Sirius?”

                “Yeah?”

                “Maddie?” James mumbled. Maddie looked at Sirius who nodded in return.

                “Yeah?” Maddie replied rather weakly.

                “Uh-huh. Sirius I suggest you dry off your arse and get outside and play Quidditch with us. As for Maddie, as far as I know you’ve been napping all afternoon.” A few moments of silence passed between them and Maddie stood up and peered out from behind the curtain.

                “Thank you James.” James shook his head.

                “Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for the rest of the people in this house.” James grabbed two towels  from the floor and tossed them at the shower before heading out the door and slamming it behind him. Silent tears ran down Maddie’s face as she picked up the towels and handed one to Sirius behind her.

               

                The rest of the evening was the most uncomfortable night of her life. Thankfully she ducked out of dinner quickly and retreated to her room. Maddie collapsed on her bed, crying her confused heart out until oddly enough, Maddie heard a crunching noise under her pillow and found it to be a piece of paper neatly folded yet rumpled from the impact of her head. It read in Sirius' scratchy squiggly writing.

                “We have to talk. Sneak out of the feast tomorrow at eight thirty and meet me in the Shack.” Maddie really had no idea what to expect. A soft knock on her door and she quickly stuffed the note under her blankets. She rubbed at her eyes carelessly and cleared her throat. Remus poked his head inside the door and walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Maddie.

                “Hey, Sirius said you had a massive migraine when he came back this afternoon. He said you were sick in the bathroom. Are you feeling better?” Maddie never imagined in her life that she could ever be capable of lying to Remus. She bit her lip and nodded her head feebly biting back tears.

                “Yeah, I feel much better. I just needed some rest I guess.” Remus leaned over to kiss her gently on the forehead. He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her pulling her into his embrace. Maddie nestled into his chest as he rested his chin on her head.

                “We’re leaving bright and early in the morning for King’s Cross. Do you want me to help you pack up?”

                “Yeah, that would be great.” Remus eased out of her arms and set to getting her trunk out from under the bed for her.

               

                “Sirius!!!!! Sirius!!! Sirius!!!!!” Amilye came practically screaming down the length of the Gryffindor table as she bounded towards him. Sirius immediately jumped up and scooped Amilye into his arms twirling her around before placing her back down on her own two feet. Amilye placed kiss after kiss on his face and neck before a voice from above them at the teacher’s table cleared itself rather forcefully. Amilye peered out of the corner of her eye to see McGonagall nod her head a little towards Amilye’s own house table. Amilye glanced over her shoulder towards the Slytherin table and caught Maddie’s eye who was staring straight at them. Amilye smiled brightly and waved enthusiastically at Madeleine. She turned back to McGoogles and gestured at her watch and held up a finger instructing that she’d only take a minute more. Amilye leaned in closer to Sirius and whispered in his ear. “Do you think we could get out of here early?” Sirius backed up a few feet and shifted his weight uncomfortably. He ruffled his hair nervously and looked away as he spoke a bit under his breath.

                “Can’t Amilye, I’ve already got plans with the guys later.” Pete looked up from below them.

                “Oy! When did we...” James knocked him up side the head before he could finish his sentence. James glared at Sirius and went back to eating his steak and kidney pie.  Amilye eyed Sirius carefully and glanced at his three friends who looked just as confused as she did.

                “Okay. Well, can I see you late tonight then? I haven’t seen you all summer. I’m about to go crazy just standing next to you.” Amilye reached out to fondle his tie. Sirius shifted just out of her reach and looked up at McGonagall and back at Amilye.

                “You better get to your table.” Amilye frowned and glared at Sirius crossing her arms defiantly.

                “Are you ok?” Sirius nodded quickly and leaned forward to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

                “Of course. Get on now. I’ll see you later,” Amilye didn’t budge an inch, “I promise! Go!” Amilye smiled halfheartedly and skulked off to the Slytherin table.

                “Maddie girl!!! I missed you!! You won’t believe the amazing stuff I snagged for you from the shoots I did this summer you are going to flip out!” Amilye plunked down next to her smiling brightly. Maddie shot another glance over at Sirius to find him looking back at her as well. Maddie literally shook it off and recomposed herself turning back to Amilye.   
                “Amazing. I can’t wait to see it.” Amilye was going to kill her.

 

                As Maddie neared the end of the long passage that lead to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade her heart was racing. She crept up the squeaky staircase into the master bedroom upstairs and peered into the dark. It was a new moon outside giving it the appearance of having disappeared completely so only a bit of light shone in from the huge cracks in the ceiling. A twinge of guilt struck at her as she recalled which exact phase the moon was in. Of course she knew what phase the moon was in, her boyfriend, the boy she thought she loved with all of her heart was a werewolf. The small clouds that slowly moved across the sky didn't help to illuminate the room either. She stood in complete silence, waiting for any kind of sign, when she was grabbed from behind and pulled back into the shadows towards the bed. The person that had her collided with the bed, and Maddie’s back was pressed against them. The person's hands had her by the upper arms, and made sure she couldn't move or try to get away.

                "Madeleine," This was Sirius whispering into her ear, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She tried to open her mouth to reply but nothing came out. She tried to squeeze out of his grip to face him but he held on tight keeping her facing forward. His grip loosened and his hands slid down her arms, tightening on her wrists. He spun Maddie around. Sirius grabbed her hands and entwined her fingers with his and unexpectedly he whirled her around and pushed her against the wall. Maddie immediately tensed up and Sirius sensed this, so he let go of her hands and cupped her face, kissing Madeleine passionately. Maddie gave in entirely. Her shoulders dropped and she relaxed into his kiss, running her hands up the back of his neck and making him shiver. He held her closer to him and moved his hand under her robes to her waist, bringing Maddie even closer still. She felt him there then, and could feel her face flush. Maddie brought her hand up and tugged on his shirt, managing to undo the first two buttons and feeling his chest. He began kissing her neck and rubbing his hand up her spine. Maddie was completely ready to lie back and let Sirius do whatever he wanted. This went on for around ten minutes when Sirius stopped and looked at her. It was a bit awkward for him to stop then, as his pants were nearly all the way off, as was her shirt. He appeared to be confused, and he stepped back. She was still experiencing the aftermath of the sensations washing over her, her heart beating faster than it ever had and she was trying to keep herself from breathing very hard. Sirius looked down and then turned away, "Maddie, we can't do this again." She squinted her eyes and straightened up, asking the most rhetorical question of the day.

                "What do you mean?"

                "I mean this!" He pointed at her and then at himself, and did it again in a fast motion about three times. He looked away again and sighed. His voice was unreadable. “By the way, I just lied to Remus. I lied to him. I lied to Amilye. James is still covering for me and I lied to everyone.” Sirius was pacing around the room now.

                “So, that's it, then?" He turned and stared at her. He moved towards her and touched her soft face again and looked away, an expression of clear inner defiance on his face.

                "You're his girlfriend Maddie! I have a girlfriend! Your best friend, remember? That should be enough of a reason." Maddie pushed his hand away and grabbed the back of his neck, forcing him down on her, making their lips collide. She felt like crying.  She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what she really wanted anymore. Sirius pushed her against the wall and steadied himself, their mouths tearing away. "I can’t do this." Sirius begged. Maddie clenched her teeth and let go of his shirt, slumping back against the wall and holding her hand tightly over her mouth to keep from saying something she knew she might regret.

                "I'm sorry," She mumbled as a few hot tears made their way out of her eyes. She moved from under him and walked away briskly, bending down to pick up her robes, working hard to keep her composure as she most likely walked away from this forever.

                “No, don’t...” Sirius rushed to her side. “Please don’t cry.” He took another step forward and grabbed her robe out of her hand and tossed it back to the ground. He circled around her and started moving towards her, backing her up closer and closer to the bed. He hesitated for one more moment before he kissed her with everything he was worth. She used to snog with Remus in the Shack and whatever similarities she thought she might have seen disappeared at that moment. Sirius’ lips were rougher. He tasted like cigarettes and coffee and threw himself into kissing her so fully, that she felt like she was drowning. His hands were sliding around her waist as he carefully started moving them back toward the bed. He nipped at the soft skin below her ear as they navigated the last few steps together. She ran her hands under the hem of his boxers as the back of her thighs hit the bed frame. Sirius disconnected for a split second as Maddie hopped up onto the bed and sat with her arms outstretched waiting for him to reenter into her embrace. He eased up onto the bed and  let Maddie tug his shirt over his shoulders and toss it away before they fell onto the bed together. He was lean and smooth under her hands and she buried her face in his neck, letting the smell of him seep into her mind as she felt him unhook her bra on the first try before kissing her again until she was dizzy. His mouth was hot and wet on her throat as he moved leisurely downward, and she closed her eyes. Cupping her breast, he ran his thumb over her nipple until it was taut before nipping at it lightly with his teeth. The combination of pleasure and pain made her shudder and she thrust her hips against him. He smiled against her skin and his warm breath floated over her belly as he slid her skirt and knickers off. Licking and tickling the soft skin of her inner thigh, he spread her legs and touched her lightly, letting the sensation build slowly. She moaned and begged him to move faster, but he just smiled again as his tongue grazed her, making lazy swipes back and forth. The pressure was building and he pulled back just before she came. Sitting back up, he peeled off his pants and boxers and moved back to her, kissing her again with the taste of her still on his tongue. He was hard and heavy pressed against her leg and she rubbed her thigh against him, enjoying the way he trembled and whimpered in her ear. Pushing at his shoulders, she rolled them until she was on top. Her hair slipped from behind her ears and he reached up to tuck it back, stroking her cheek gently and she had to kiss him again, to make sure just one more time that this was real. His hands were on her hips, trying to subtly move her backward. With a smile, she lifted herself and hovered over him, teasing him until he groaned in frustration at her. She sank down with deliberate care, wanting to feel every inch of him as he stretched and filled her. Rolling her hips, she felt him catch her rhythm and she leaned down and kissed him, their bodies moving languidly against each other as the tension in her body began to build for a second time. They were moving faster now and she felt his hand slip between them and find her clit, working it in time to his upwards thrusts. In a rush, her senses blurred and she came hard, biting her lip so sharply she tasted blood. Seeing this Sirius reached up with his thumb to smudge the little remainder of blood over her lip. He forcefully reached up grasping the back of her neck and kissed her so strongly that she almost toppled over. He pulled back and made quite a show of licking her blood from his lips. Quickly, he flipped them back over and she wrapped her legs around his back as he moved harder and faster until he came apart, crying out her name. He rested his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. With a small smile, she let him shift until he was behind her, his hand warm on her stomach. She sighed as he pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and nestling his face close to her ear.

                “I don’t know what to do.” Sirius mumbled. Maddie stared out into the emptiness that was the dusty old Shack.

                “You think I do?” Sirius held her closely tracing his fingers aimlessly over her rib cage before letting out a deep breath.

                “I think I’m gonna go.” Sirius rolled onto his back. Maddie sat up and looked down at him.

                “Okay.” Sirius looked around the room for a moment before getting up and carelessly getting dressed. He picked up Maddie’s clothes too and walked them back over to her. Maddie thankfully took her clothes and pulled on her shirt.

                “I’ll see you in class.”

                “Yeah.”

                “We’ll talk about this later right?” Sirius questioned. Maddie nodded fervently.

                “Yeah. Sure. Of course. Later.”

                “Right.” Sirius took a few steps towards the door before turning back to look at Maddie. “Um, I’m not gonna sleep with Ams anymore. So, if she says anything, you know the truth.” Maddie was speechless.

                “But, why? She’ll freak out. Why?” Sirius smiled. He smiled that smile like the sunrise that reached almost to his ears. He ruffled his hair and darted out of the door in a flash.

 

                A few days later there was a soft knock on the door of the hospital wing of Hogwarts and Madame Pompfrey quickly opened it to find Madeleine Hourglass. Madame Pompfrey smiled pleasantly and let her inside. Maddie walked towards her destination of the bed near the back of the ward with the amber haired boy curled up under his blankets. Maddie took a seat next to his warm sleeping body and Remus soon shifted, opening his sleepy eyes.

                “Hey, where were you this morning? Where was everyone? Is something wrong? Madame Pompfrey wouldn’t let me out of the ward. I woke up alone this morning.”

                “I know, I’m sorry I was…studying and I fell asleep because I stayed up so late with you last night while you were transformed. It took you forever to finally fall asleep.”

                “Well, where was Sirius?”

                “I don’t know. How should I know where Sirius is?” Maddie snapped back without a beat.

                “I don’t know, I just thought you might know.”

                “No. I don’t keep tabs on your friends.”

                “Okay. I get it.” Remus sat up gingerly and looked Maddie over. She was sitting at the end of the bed with her hands in her lap picking at her chewed up fingernails. “So, how long are we going to keep on not talking and acting like this with each other?”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “For what? What are you apologizing for?”

                “Acting the way I have been. I know things have been…weird lately.”

                “Yeah, you could say that.” Remus nodded. “How did things get like this Maddie?” Maddie took a deep breath. She really didn’t want to have this conversation with Remus but she knew that would have to happen sooner or later.

                “I think that I don’t really know what I want anymore. I don’t know what you want.” Remus waited to see if there was anything else she had to say before he reached for one of her delicate hands.

                “I want you.” Maddie took her hand out of Remus’ grasp.

                “I don’t know if you do. This isn’t just about me, no matter how much I wish it was. I just don’t feel like it’s just me. I don’t feel like you’re giving me enough.”

                “Enough? Enough of what?”

                “Enough love! Enough attention, enough…”

                “Sex? Is this really just about sex?”

                “NO! Remus, it’s not just about sex. Yes, that’s part of it but there’s more to it. It’s everything that comes along with it. Passion, and love and devotion. I just feel like there’s something bigger that I don’t have that I can’t have. Something you won’t give me.”

                “You know I can’t. You know we can’t. When we get out of school, when we’re older things will be better.”

                “When we’re dead out of school because of this stupid war?” Maddie’s nostrils flared with anger. Remus looked stunned and Maddie lowered her head. “I’m sorry, I’m just upset about the Prewitts and everything. This war business is just ridiculous and it’s just making my brain all crazy. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

                “Maddie you don’t have to do anything.”

                “Yes, I do. I can’t just sit here and do anything while people are dying. I’m not saying I’m going to go sign up to be an Auror but I feel so useless. I just feel like there’s something better and bigger that I’m missing out on.”

                “Because of me?”

                “Not because of you. I mean I can’t help but think that there is just this part of you that you won’t let me have.”

                “Again, I can’t be with you completely it’s not safe.”

                “Safe? What’s unsafe about it?”

                “You have to be joking.”

                “No, I’m not joking Remus. What are you protecting me from?”  
 

                “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

                “The wolf? Is that it? I just spent the entire night with you in the Shack while you were transformed. I’m not afraid of you as a werewolf. You’ve never so much as scratched me. You hardly come within five feet of me when you’re transformed.”

                “Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

                “You won’t hurt me! You take the wolfsbane and you’re fine.”

                “What if I didn’t take it?” A grave look crossed Maddie’s face.

                “I would never let that happen to you. I’ve seen what you can do to yourself. I’d never let that happen to you again. You know that. Still, Remus, you might be able to use your lycanthropy as an excuse for some things but not for me. You can’t keep using it against me as an excuse not to love me.”

                “I do love you! I just can’t physically love you. It’s for life Maddie you know that. I don’t want to do that to you, or myself.”

                “And, I don’t know if I want you to. You see, I mean I don’t know if I’m enough. If I can be enough for you. I don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t want us to be together five years from now and bound together like that and change my mind. I don’t want to hurt you like that.”

                “I won’t let you.”

                “I know you won’t that’s the point! Ok, I know I’m totally contradicting myself. I want you to let me in but I don’t want you to let me in. I just don’t know what I want or what to do. I do love you Remus.”

                “Is there someone else?”

                “Excuse me?”

                “I said, is there someone else?”

                “How could you ask me that?”

                “Answer the question Maddie.”

                “No! Of course not.” Remus waited a moment before he responded. He looked at his love with distrust and nodded irresolutely. 

                “What do we do now?”

                “I don’t know,” Maddie replied weakly.

                “I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want you to be unhappy.” Remus and Maddie sat in silence for quite awhile.  

 

 

 

 


	2. Black Betrayal

            It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed it. It wasn’t even the fifth time he’d noticed it. Stolen glances, and secret smiles between Maddie and Sirius that shouldn’t have been there. They were sitting in the Three Broomsticks on one of their last Hogsmeade visits. They would be graduating soon, getting sent out into the real world and the awaiting war with Voldemort that was ahead of them. Things had been uneasy between all of them lately. This war was tearing everyone apart. Especially with James’s parents being killed.  Sirius winked at Maddie quickly before looking away to the bar with that smug smile on his face. Remus slammed his drink on the table, stirring a few looks from the patrons nearby.

            “Enough. I’ve had enough of this. Can we go somewhere and talk?” Remus grabbed Maddie’s elbow and pulled her out of the booth. Sirius sat dumbfounded and pulled out his wallet.

            “I’ll grab the tab. I’ll see you guys later, I guess.” Remus shook his head.

            “No, you’re coming too.”

            “What?” Sirius threw a wad of cash on the table and followed on Remus’s heels with Maddie in tow to the Shrieking Shack. Remus threw Maddie into the master bedroom ahead of him, and Sirius leaned against the doorway.

            “How long were you planning on lying to me? It‘s him isn‘t it?”

            “Remus, what are you talking about?” Maddie asked, trying to sound innocent.

            “You said there wasn’t anyone else. I asked you, and I trusted you to be honest with me! You could have told me.” Remus looked over at Sirius shifting his weight nervously in his combat boots. “You bastard.” 

            “There isn’t! I…” Maddie began to plead. Remus shook his head in disgust.

            “NO! What’s going on between you two?” Remus motioned between the two of them. “I’m not that stupid. I’ve seen you look at each other. The same way you used to look at me. What about your girlfriend Sirius, huh?” Sirius locked his gaze on the floorboard in front of him. He shook his head as he replied.

            “I stopped sleeping with her. She broke up with me. She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

            “So, you thought you’d sleep with mine?”

            “Someone had to do it.” Remus couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

            “Excuse me?” Sirius straightened up and cleared his throat.

            “I said, someone had to do it.”

            “You’re supposed to be my friend!! How could you do this!?”

            “ME? How could I?!” Sirius shouted and took a step towards Remus. “What about you? You want her Remus?” Sirius pointed at Maddie and took a few steps closer and shoved Remus hard in the chest. “You want her? Take her! Put up a fight. Do something.” Remus laughed shrugging him off.

            “Fight? I’m not going to fight you. I shouldn’t have to fight, she’s my girlfriend!”

            “You’re girlfriend huh? Then why is she fucking me?!!!” Sirius circled around him and stood next to Maddie. “She’s yours? Then you fuck her.” Maddie glared at Sirius and spoke a little quieter.

            “I’m right here you know?” Maddie protested. Sirius ignored her words but brushed his hand across her lower back.

            “You both know why I haven’t…why we haven’t. I can’t, it’s not…” Sirius threw his hands up in the air in disgust.

            “BULLSHIT! Fuck you and your tired ass excuses. Nobody wants to hear them. Fuck her Remus! What are you going to do? She‘s not yours anymore. You smell that? That‘s me, all over her.”

            “Woah!” Maddie exclaimed from where she stood.

            “Fuck you Sirius!”

            “You want to fuck me now? You can’t even fuck your own girlfriend, but fine. You won’t be the first guy.” Maddie arched an eyebrow at him. “James…we were high. Off subject.” Maddie couldn’t help but smirk a little and pulled at Sirius’s sleeve.

            “You don’t have to do this.” Maddie spoke uncertainly. Sirius took a step to Remus now.

            “You don’t want to get this over with? You don’t want him?” Sirius erupted with laughter and dug his hands in his hair as he milled around the room. “Don’t pretend like you don’t want to. I know you better than that. You still want him. I know he wants you.” Sirius stopped behind Remus and murmured into his ear. “Want to know what she tastes like Moony? Give her a good lick from front to back?” Remus whipped Sirius around and punched him square in the mouth.

            “Remus, NO!” Maddie screamed. Sirius wheeled around rubbing his aching jaw and touched his tender lip that Remus had split open.

            “Some emotion! I like that! Come on Moony!!! Who are you more pissed at? Me, or yourself for not having her first? Oh, it was incredible! I fucked her on James’s bed Remus. I fucked her all over that house all summer right under your fucking nose!!!! How could you let someone like her slip away like that, you asshole. You don’t even know what you have.” Sirius wiped his lip on his white long sleeved shirt and cursed under his breath as he walked away towards the piano bench in front of the dilapidated grand piano.

            “I don’t know Sirius, that‘s the point. You took her away.” Sirius sat down on the bench.

            “No mate, I didn’t take anything.” Sirius pointed at him. “You lost her. You let her go. You piece of shit.”

            “I’m the piece of shit?”

            “Yeah.” Sirius buried his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. Maddie tried her hardest to keep it in but a muffled sob escaped her lips and she couldn‘t hold it in any longer. Remus looked at her unsure and Sirius’ head shot up immediately as he heard her sharp intake of breath and he was at her side in a second. Sirius took her face in his hands and kissed her cheeks, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “Shhh, shhhhh. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Sirius kissed her wet lips and smoothed his palm over her hair. Maddie touched Sirius’ busted lip gingerly.

            “Did you really mean it? Those things you said?”

            “Every word.” Maddie was in love with Sirius. Desperately, can’t live without it, completely consumed, love.

            “You’re sick. I’m still standing here Sirius.”

            “What are you going to do about it?” Sirius spat the words at him. Remus honestly wasn’t sure what to do. So, he lurched forward and grabbed Maddie’s hand and pulled her to his side.

            “Remus, what are you…” Remus stopped thinking and pulled her into a kiss, and to his surprise she kissed him back.

            “That’s a boy.” Sirius chided. Remus broke the kiss to glare at Sirius. “Go on.” Remus peered back at Maddie.

            “I’m not going to stop you Remus.” Maddie assured him. He looked back from Maddie to Sirius.

            “This is crazy.”

            “What’s crazy? Wanting to be with me?”

            “Come on Remus.” Sirius urged. Maddie started to push Remus towards the bed behind them and Sirius was ten steps ahead of her. Sirius cast a quick tergeo on the musty old bed sheets that were crumpled up on the aged four-poster bed. Maddie shoved Remus down and started to crawl up his body. “Remus, take control. Are you going to let her push you around like that?” Sirius paused. “Don’t answer that.” Sirius interjected from where he stood nearby. Maddie looked into Remus’ eyes reassuringly before she rolled over onto her back next to him. Remus tugged at the hem of her shirt and Maddie sat up long enough for him to pull it over her head and toss it aside. Remus ducked his head down and lovingly cupped her white lace enclosed breast in one hand and kissed her nipple through her bra. His right hand groped more roughly and his thumb slipped between the material to tease her other nipple. She relaxed under his touch, lacing her fingers through his amber and brown hair, such a contrast to Sirius’s jet black locks. Maddie made involuntary thrusts with her hips as Remus enjoyed himself. Sirius took the opportunity to circle around the bed to the left side and slowly reached his hand out to graze Maddie’s ribcage. Her eyes fluttered open and Sirius smiled at her as he reached under her back to unfasten her bra. Remus disconnected long enough to pull her bra off and was back with his mouth on her breast, tugging on her nipple.

            “Is she wet Remus?” Sirius eased up on the bed next to them on Maddie’s right side. Remus was too busy kissing and licking his way along Maddie’s upper body to answer.

            “Yes.” Maddie replied lustily, her eyes on Sirius.

            “I didn’t ask you. I asked Remus.” With uncertain hands Remus undid her jeans and daringly slid a warm hand between her thighs.

            “Yes, she is.”

            “How does she taste Moony?” Remus brought his hand to his lips and licked his fingers clean.

            “Perfect.”

            “And don’t you ever fucking forget it.” Remus yanked her pants off and practically tore off her panties. He ran his soft hands along her outer thighs before nudging them open as he proceeded to go down on her. Remus’ hands were so soft compared to Sirius’s rough hands with his chewed up fingernails and the worried edges of his thumbs that he would often gnaw on. Sirius watched with amusement and threw off his own shirt before returning to Maddie. He kissed her passionately and fondled her breasts while Remus kept his attention below. Maddie nearly came with the rush of sensations from the two of them but she gently squeezed her thighs together to get Remus to stop.

            “Now, Remus please? It won’t take much.” With inexperienced hands Remus fumbled with his jeans and very awkwardly sat up and clumsily kicked off his shoes. He kicked so fervently that one of his shoes managed to soar through the air and land on the piano keys striking out a dissonant chord. Whereas it seemed that Sirius had somehow quickly and quietly slipped out of his clothes and was back at Maddie’s side in one fell swoop. Remus looked down at them longingly. They were both on their sides facing each other kissing intently. Sirius’ had one arm under his head and the other roamed over the dip between Maddie’s ribs and her hip smoothly. Maddie on the other hand had one hand in Sirius’ hair and the other was working between them stroking Sirius. Remus curled up on the other side of Maddie. He kissed her warm neck gently and Maddie swiveled her hips back and opened her legs for Remus as he tentatively positioned himself. Remus gripped her hips and finally after a few awkward tries thrust into her.

            “Ngguahhaa…” A guttural moan escaped Remus’s lips and his breathing became erratic. His fingers dug into her hips and he started to shake a bit.

            “Remus, slow down. Take a deep breath. Just feel. If you move again I’ll come.” Maddie paused and took a few deep breaths of her own and concentrated. “Sirius?”

            “It‘s ok.” Maddie bit her bottom lip and rocked her hips back against Remus. Remus thrust back and with a few more thrusts was coming. Maddie came at the end of Remus’ arch and her elation sent Sirius over the edge. The three of them snuggled there together in a lazy haze. At some point Remus finally came to the sudden awareness that he was very naked. Very naked with his best friend who was also very naked and nuzzling his ex-girlfriend? Girlfriend? Soon to be ex-girlfriend?

            “So, now what?” Remus cleared his throat, his speech destroying the soft lull in the room that was created by the soft falling rain outside.

            “Ha. Like I know? I didn’t know before and I certainly don’t know now.” Maddie snapped. Sirius mumbled something inadubily from where his head was buried near her chest. “No…I mean it. I have to go.” Maddie jerked away from the two of them. She fumbled off the bed and grabbed her clothes from the floor and pulled them on all while heading out of the door.

            “Maddie wait!” Remus yelled and grabbed his pants and shoes and was still bare foot as he chased her into the tunnel leading towards the willow. Maddie had stopped and was leaning against the cool earthy walls. The combination of the cool air and  her crying so violently was causing her to shiver and shake. As soon as she heard Remus coming she started to take off again and Remus relentlessly chased after her. Maddie tripped over her own feet and took a tumble and landed in a heap on the ground right near the end of the tunnel. Water from outside had dampened the ground and Maddie fell right in the mud. The knees of her jeans and her hands got the most of it and she stood up, wiping her hands on her thighs and swiping at her face with the back of her hand leaving little smears of dirt on her flushed cheeks. “Maddie what are you doing?”

            “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let you do that.” She was crying so hard that Remus could barely understand her. “I don’t know how I could do this to you. I don’t love you anymore.” Remus shivered standing there in just his jeans. He threw his shoes down and enveloped her in his arms. Maddie clutched onto his chest and cried.

            “I know you don’t.”

            “I told you it wasn’t just about…it‘s everything. It’s not just that, it’s never been just that. Remus we’re different people. We want different things than we did before. I don’t want to admit it, but I can’t keep lying to you. Remus, I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want to lie to you. I should never have lied to you. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I feel so guilt. I feel disgusting. I hate this. I’m sorry.” Remus pulled back holding her a little shorter than arms length away so he could look into her pretty hurt face.

            “I know. I know. I understand. I don’t want to, I wish things were different. I wish that with all my heart. For right now, I’ll settle with knowing that making you unhappy is the last thing I want in the world. If pretending to make me feel better makes you feel this awful then I demand you stop it right now. Okay?” Remus smiled feebly at her. Maddie sniffled and rubbed at her stinging eyes.

            “Are you serious?” Remus laughed a little, he was sure she didn‘t mean to make a joke but he thought it would make her feel better. An old joke. A joke that everyone was familiar with, but this time meant a little more than it normally would.

            “No. I’m not, and I don’t think I ever will be.” Maddie’s face crumpled in defeat and she tried her hardest to smile. She reached out a shaky hand to stroke Remus’ face. She ran her fingers over the soft scars and let out the deep, dying breath of their relationship. “If he’s not still in the Shack I suggest you check the broom shed behind the Quidditch pitch first. He always goes there to smoke. Now, get out of here and find him.” Maddie nodded a little and stood up on her tip-toes to give Remus a kiss on the cheek.  Maddie started off, then looked back at Remus once more before she headed out into the rain to search for Sirius.         

           Remus was left to contemplate. What was going to happen to all of them now? Pretend nothing ever happened? Feel it like a great uneasy pressure anytime they were together? Remus couldn’t pretend that he didn’t know it was over for good between himself and Maddie. He’d known for a long time. Even before the summer. They’d grown up. It’s a terrible cliché thing to say, but it was the hurtful truth. They didn’t need each other anymore. Sharing their adolescent insecurities was a thing of the past. Maddie was strong and needed so much more than he could ever give her. His careful life. Quiet and calculated, unsteady and unsecured. He was grateful for what she’d shown him but he knew it was over. Whether Sirius was what she really needed or if it would really last, he didn’t know. He did know that he was determined not to let this ruin their friendships. Now more than ever they had to stick together. A bunch of scared kids clinging onto each other as they were thrown head first into the unknown, fighting for their very lives and everything they held dear.

           

            “Bugger this!” Sirius cursed from the bed as Maddie and Remus dashed off. He went out the front door of the Shack, opting to take the long way back to school to give him time to clear his head. He transformed into his shaggy dog visage and took off in a slow trot down the high road of Hogsmeade. The chilly rain soaked even his thick coat of fur and he momentarily stopped to shake some of the water off. To hell if he was going to let Maddie slip through his fingers. He’d be damned to make the same mistake as Remus. He didn’t want to do this to Remus. Sirius was more than willing to admit that he found it the height of dishonor to betray his friends. He also couldn’t betray his own heart. Sirius snuck in the back door of Honeydukes as the owners were putting out the trash. Sirius changed back once in the cellar and headed straight for the Slytherin common room. He was drenched from head to toe and was dripping all over the stone floor as he paced back and forth in front of the wall in the dungeon. A few people came and went paying him no mind when he asked to be let inside. He finally slumped down against the wall in defeat, wishing that he’d had a cigarette before coming back.

            “Black? What in Merlin’s name are you doing out here?” Sirius didn’t have to look up to know who addressed him.

            “Snivellus.”

            “Black, unless you’ve lost your marbles once and for all, I’d like to remind you that this is not the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.”

            “Piss off grease monkey. I’m waiting for Madeleine.”

            “What, are her and Lupin having a lover’s spat and you’re the messenger?”

            “No, as a matter of fact you’ve come to the wrong conclusion as usual. I’m waiting for her. If I remember correctly you were in this exact position not too long ago. Not that it got you anywhere. We all know how that story ends. Bouncing baby Evans-Potter’s running around Hogwarts in years to come. So, you can either go in there and get Hourglass for me or I’ll curse you so far into the next century that your Dark Lord will feel it.”

            “You think you know everything don’t you?”

            “Oh no, I certainly don’t know everything. For instance, I don’t think I’ll ever understand where you get off thinking you ever had a chance of being with Lily.”

            “I’m not discussing this with you.”

            “I didn’t think so.” Sirius stood up at eye level with Snape. Sirius searched his shifty black eyes and was always surprised at that something that he couldn’t quite grasp that he saw within them. It made him uneasy so he tried not to linger in the accusatory glare. “Either let me in, go and get Maddie, or toss off. I’m tired of looking at you.”

            “I’m not in there.” Maddie’s quiet voice sounded behind Sirius. Sirius whipped around to face a tiny soaking wet, muddy, shivering Maddie. Sirius’s heart melted.

            “Where have you been?” Sirius took an unsteady  step towards her.

            “Well, I went back to the Shack and you weren’t there. Then I went to the Quidditch pitch and then I went back to the Shack and back to the Quidditch pitch and you still weren’t there…” Sirius surged forward and took Maddie in his strong secure arms.

            “Oh, please…” Severus sulked off in the opposite direction.

            “I’m so sorry and I, I’d give you my shirt but I’m not any dryer than you are.” Sirius laughed a little as he tried to dry off her little face with his shirt sleeve.

            “Sirius…” Maddie started to speak but Sirius cut her off with a shaky finger at her lips.

            “No, I have to say this. This thing between us isn’t over. It isn’t over until I say it’s over. You got that? I’m not done with this yet. There’s so much more that I want to do for you. I may not know lots of stuff and I don’t wear sweaters. But, I know what I want and I love the way my pillow looks with you sleeping on it. You make me say the craziest things and I don’t care. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I’m not making any promises but I want you to be around when I do.” Maddie rested her hands on his warm chest and felt his heart pounding furiously against her cold hands.

            “Okay.” Maddie nodded.

            “Okay?” Sirius questioned and blinked a few times.

            “Okay.” Maddie simply replied. Sirius let out a combination of a sigh and a laugh before his voice cracked and he scooped up Maddie in his arms. He held onto her so tightly and kissed, what turned out to be her ear as she held onto him, her arms around his neck.

            “You want to come up to the Prefect’s bathroom with me?”

            “Sirius, I’m not a prefect.”

            “Neither am I.” Things were never going to be the same. For a few moments here and there they could pretend that everything was normal before reality came crashing down around them.  But those few moments, were worth it.    


End file.
